Born Again

Do you believe in karma? Do you believe that when you die you will be reborn into this world again? Have you ever been to those mystics and psychics who take one look at you and tell you what you were in your last birth? Yes? No? Anyways, I'm sure you'd have heard of such stories, I have heard dozens. Yeah, yeah! I hang out with more weirdoes than you do.

I have heard lots of these stories about previous lives and what you were in them. One thing I found suspiciously common in all of these stories were that the previous births were always in human form! I'm sure there is some cosmic, metaphysical explanation to it but right now I'm not that enlightened. How come its always human? Why not something else?

"Hello there, come on in! I know its a little dark here but I refuse to put on a brighter bulb. What do you wish to know?"
"I want to know about my previous birth"
"Why?"
"I don't know anything about my present life"
"fair enough! now let me see. Open up your mouth and say aah!"
"Aaah!"

hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo duckworth-lewis chitty-chitty-bang-bang

"I see, in your previous birth you were a dung beetle. You lived for a full three and a half minutes before being squished by the ox who gave you your home"
"Hmmm!"
"And in the birth before that you were a mule in Egypt. You were meant to carry stones for a minor Pharaoh's pyramid. Your back broke when they put the first stone on you. Your bones were found centuries later by some dudes who passed it off as dinosaur fossil and made millions"
"Wow!"
"I wonder how you became a human in this birth"
"I'm a software engineer"
"There you go, no difference! I was sure there was a catch somewhere. Time's up, I'll take the money now, cash only please."

Do you think this story will ever get out? You got to take them with a pinch of salt and a couple of asprins.