Switch to any Hindi channel during the prime time and all you get is family strife, scheming brides, crumbling empires and praying matriarchs. You don't need to stick to one channel, keep surfing and you won't miss a thing. The stories are all the same. And keeping up with that tradition is this...same story, different blog. If you have read it in my older blog, feel free to move right on.
Recipe for a successful TV soap
Ingredients
For the base -
Joint families (business) 2
Palatial bungalows 2
Business rivalry
For the seasoning -
Vamp 1
Jilted love 1
Jilted lover's vengeance 1
Pair of young lovers (one from each family) 2
For the sauce -
Illegitimate child 1
Auto accident 1
Coma/Amnesia (whatever is available) 1
Miracle 1
Glycerin Tears 5-6 buckets
Adultery to taste
Instructions for preparation
Put the business families in separate bungalows and mix individually. Add the business rivalry and bring to a boil. Sprinkle the young lovers and stir till the base turns into thick hot scenes. Pour the mix into a flat pan and let it cool.
In a flashback pan put the other set of young lovers and stir on low heat for 10-15 episodes. When the plot becomes thick and stinky, add the jilted love and the illegitimate child. (Tip: if you prefer a saucy mix, add one illegitimate child and one abortion)
Soak the vamp in the jilted lover's vengeance for 6 episodes and keep aside.
Pour the contents of the flashback pan and the base mix into a foreign location. Gently slide the vamp into the pan. Cover and let the pressure build up. Sprinkle the adultery and let it simmer for 4-5 episodes. (Tip: repeat this step each time you feel the mix turning cold)
Using a 'Power-of-attorney business fraud' or a huge business loss, drop in the auto accident and the coma/amnesia. Ensure that the coma/amnesia is put in after the accident. Let the family tragedy dissolve completely in the base (takes usually 30 episodes). Put the family into a private mandir and liberally pour the glycerin tears. Sprinkle a bhajan on top of the tears. When the scene becomes totally cold and bland, add the miracle and put the family back into the private mandir. Pour the rest of the tears and the bhajan and stir vigorously.
By now, the broth would be thick, bland, and completely unrecognizable. It is now ready to be served. Take a prime time slot and load it two-thirds with commercials. Fill the remaining part with the broth and garnish it with an intro or a recap.
Serve it hot or cold, it doesn't matter. The audience would lap it up anyways.
Serves up to 156 episodes. (Tip: If you make your plot very thin, it would serve as many as 260 episodes)
Enjoy your tripe!
Ingredients
For the base -
Joint families (business) 2
Palatial bungalows 2
Business rivalry
For the seasoning -
Vamp 1
Jilted love 1
Jilted lover's vengeance 1
Pair of young lovers (one from each family) 2
For the sauce -
Illegitimate child 1
Auto accident 1
Coma/Amnesia (whatever is available) 1
Miracle 1
Glycerin Tears 5-6 buckets
Adultery to taste
Instructions for preparation
Put the business families in separate bungalows and mix individually. Add the business rivalry and bring to a boil. Sprinkle the young lovers and stir till the base turns into thick hot scenes. Pour the mix into a flat pan and let it cool.
In a flashback pan put the other set of young lovers and stir on low heat for 10-15 episodes. When the plot becomes thick and stinky, add the jilted love and the illegitimate child. (Tip: if you prefer a saucy mix, add one illegitimate child and one abortion)
Soak the vamp in the jilted lover's vengeance for 6 episodes and keep aside.
Pour the contents of the flashback pan and the base mix into a foreign location. Gently slide the vamp into the pan. Cover and let the pressure build up. Sprinkle the adultery and let it simmer for 4-5 episodes. (Tip: repeat this step each time you feel the mix turning cold)
Using a 'Power-of-attorney business fraud' or a huge business loss, drop in the auto accident and the coma/amnesia. Ensure that the coma/amnesia is put in after the accident. Let the family tragedy dissolve completely in the base (takes usually 30 episodes). Put the family into a private mandir and liberally pour the glycerin tears. Sprinkle a bhajan on top of the tears. When the scene becomes totally cold and bland, add the miracle and put the family back into the private mandir. Pour the rest of the tears and the bhajan and stir vigorously.
By now, the broth would be thick, bland, and completely unrecognizable. It is now ready to be served. Take a prime time slot and load it two-thirds with commercials. Fill the remaining part with the broth and garnish it with an intro or a recap.
Serve it hot or cold, it doesn't matter. The audience would lap it up anyways.
Serves up to 156 episodes. (Tip: If you make your plot very thin, it would serve as many as 260 episodes)
Enjoy your tripe!
1 comment:
It's absolutely fantastic man ... very true...and extrememly well written I must say.
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